Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Writing my book
When I wrote my memoir about the abuse I'd suffered as a child it tore me apart but I hoped that by allowing it to be published it would help others who have found or will find themselves in a similar situation. I insisted that names and geographical locations were changed to protect the privacy of my children and grandchildren but now find that national newspapers are questioning my story and doubting it's authenticity. I am desperately hurt and thought I would start this blog as a way of responding to the publishing process. In the prologue of SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME I describe my father (who was profoundly deaf and had tunnel vision) took me at the age of 9 to the Royal Institute of the Blind in London where he and a female friend of his (who was also visually impaired) sexually abused me on two occasions. That is one location which hasn't been changed and that abuse changed my life irrevocably. To many my story may just be another 'misery memoir', to me and my family it is all too real.
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24 comments:
Izzy Hammond is a truly inspiritional woman whose only gain in writing this book was to encourage and support women and children on their journey to becoming survivors, her voice is their voice. I am proud to call her my colleague as she is a lady of great strength and courage and I for one feel priviliged to call her my friend.Keep strong Izzy you and every other survivor will always be BELIEVED.
Col,
Izzy Hammond is a good and long-time friend of mine from across the sea. Her personal, tragic experience is the story in this book--a story way too many women and children have hidden away for far too long!
That this invasion still goes on among our young people in their own home where they should be safe, of all places!
I have been waiting to buy a copy of this and it will be a great help and healing for many others who could not come forth due to fear of reprisals. Please do publish this as soon as possible; it could make the difference in a whole lot of lives if it were on the bookshelves today! Jerra Lynne
Izzy Hammond, you are a woman of courage!
To have the faith, love and compassion to write your story
so that not only you can find healing, but bring hope to someone
else who may feel so alone, and locked in her own secret.
Never give in to disbelievers that
can see an opportunity for personal gain rather than a golden
opportunity to help the one who suffers and will find hope.
I, like you, found hope in someone
elses' courage to not keep the secret that destroys the soul.
You may never know how many lives your story touched, but touch lives it will.
I am so proud to call you my friend!
Izzy blows away any remaining preconceptions that abuse is something that happens in other sectors of society - but not in our own!
She must have dug deep to reserves of bravery and strenght to tell her story. By supressing true identities she also shows a high level of forgiveness and lack of willingness to pander to some tabloid's wish to sensationalise the biography.
At no time does she demand pity, but does demand the attention the facts deserve. If one existing abuser reads this book and comes to a closer understanding of the devastation they have caused; if one potential abuser rethinks their position; if one abused person is helped to speak out or be comforted - then her difficulties in writing this painful , but life affirming, story will have been worthwhile.
When I first read Izzy's book I was amazed that she could have survived so many horrors and come out at the other end so 'normal'. That is a thoroughly inadequate word to describe someone who seems to have gained so much strength and insight from experiences that often completely wreck people's lives. As I was privileged to read the book in manuscript, I know how difficult it was for her to write it, but she explained to me that she hoped to reach out to others who had suffered abuse and so help them to realise that they too could move on.
I find it very sad that even some quality publications will not do any interviews with Izzy unless they can have a photograph of her (and even of her family), and that they seem to think that her wish to remain anonymous is because her story is fictional rather than because she wishes to protect her loved ones from prurient tabloid investigation. And cannot those same publications understand that such stories as Izzy's leave publishers open to legal action if those who are accused in their pages can recognize themselves and see a way of possibly making some money?
The whole subject of abuse of children and women in their own homes is more important than putting names and faces together. And I hope the book reaches and speaks to thousands of people.
Izzy is a brave woman, who does not deserve to be exploited and sensationalised by the tabloids. I know her story is true. It is the crudest of ploys to try to discredit her story in order to force her to reveal her identity. She and her family deserve better treatment.
Izzy is doing this for all of us. Many of us will serve on juries at some point, and it's important we read accounts such as hers. In my view the immediate tendency to dismiss stories of grotesque abuse reflects more on the wish of thos not so abused to protect themselves from painful truths. But it does make it so much more difficult for the survivors to come forward. Let's stand up for the survivors. The perpetrators of vicious abuse are the only ones who are helped by refusal to listen to their victims.
Izzy if these magazines and papers etc do not believe your story then it just goes to show what we have known all along that they wouldn't recognise the truth if it sat up and bit them. To say that unless there are photographs your story cannot be real is an excuse to hide their heads in the sand and kid on that the abuse and violence you and millions of others suffered and still suffer does not exist. Your story is one of courage and determination in the face of such violence and abuse by ones who should have loved and protected you.It will give women in a similar position hope that they too can survive. I will say again as I did the first time you told me your story. I am honoured to be your friend and and to be trusted to hear the account of your life so far. The bad the horrendous and finally the good. You are an amazing lady much loved and respected and if others choose not to believe you it is their loss not yours.Remember there are many who are with you every step of the way.
the courage shown by Izzy in writing this book deserves nothing but praise. Izzy Hammond is a true survivor, she has amazing stregnth and is a truly beautiful person. Izzy's determination and courage should be an inspiration to us all
Izzy came into my life several years ago when i needed a friend.To have such a special lady in my life is a great gift.Izzy is a gentle spirit who wrote about her life to help and inspire others.It makes me sad to know that after all she has been through, some people doubt her word.Izzy has survived so much and will survive this because she is surrounded by people who love, respect and appreciate her for the beautiful angel she is.
As a family member I feel I have to comment……why do the press want to know every detail about Izzy and her family - even wanting pictures!
All the names and place have been changed in the book for a REASON - can they not get that!
Yes I know about some of the issues that have happened to Izzy and there are some that I haven’t needed to know, but they have been put in the book to help others who have been in similar situations.
If Izzy had wanted the fame from writing a book it wouldn’t have been so personal, details wouldn’t have needed to be changed ……oh and she would have wanted to be on all the chat shows and in every magazine going - BUT SHE DOESNT.
The book has been written from the heart to help others - the press cant see that simply because they don’t have a heart!
This is to the press and anyone reading this - just take this book as what it is……a true story how one little girl over came many obstacles to become a truly amazing mum/cousin/gran/relative and someone with the ability to help others - because she’s been there done it and sadly got the t shirt.
I’m sure given the opportunity she would go back and change the things that have happened over the years - but those things (however hideous) have made Izzy who she is today and I’m sure none of her friends or family would change a single thing about her.
I have been a very close friend to Izzy for many many years, we have shared numerous ups and downs and as Izzy commented in her book countless boxes of tissues!
I have absolutely no doubt about the authenticity of the contents of 'Someone to Watch Over Me'. How the media can imply that the book is untrue because Izzy has changed names in her book goes beyond comprehension. Surely any loving Mother will do anything to protect their children and grandchildren especially when it is from the profession that has been known to do anything to exploit people in order to get a 'good' story!!!!
Izzy I love you dearly for having the strength to face your demons by writing this book to encourage other victims that they too can survive and have a loving family. Be strong - God Bless
Stuff the press……do not give in to them Izzy Hammond! You were strong enough to over come your past and you are strong enough not to give in to them.
Why must they try to sensationalise a true story just to make money.
Your story was written to help other abused children and rape victims to show them that they are not alone and that there is hope.
If the press do not believe your story then perhaps it is because they try to bend the truth to get a “good story” wherever possible.
And to think that these people call themselves 'proffesionals'!
The question that needs to be asked of these people would be - what would they do to protect their loved ones??? It seems to me that they would sell their own flesh and blood to the wolves in order to create a scandel that would sell.
Izzy is nothing like these low lifes. She is doing everything in her power to help others see that there is a way out whilst at the same time protect the ones she loves dearly. She is a true inspriation
We love you unconditionally - remain strong, the truth is always stronger.
xx
It has been my pleasure to have worked with Izzy over the past couple of years and as all her friends can testify, one of her greatest qualities is her candid honesty. From the moment Izzy kindly allowed me to read her manuscript I knew instinctively her story was as honest and true as it was, by turns, heart-wrenching and life-affirming. Any member of the press who may doubt this should show a fraction of the courage Izzy has and speak with her. Best wishes, as ever, Izzy - Rob
To be believed is basic, fundamental support for all survivors. There is never a need for photographs or names of family to provide proof.
By insisting that Izzy "Shows" herself and her family only further compounds the fear of not being believed to all those survivors out there who still have to walk their "Healing Journey"
Izzy is one of the most open and honest women I have had the privilege and honour to call a friend and colleague.
Rape and Sexual Abuse are crimes of power and it appears to me that the newspapers in question are attempting to use their power to sensationalise Izzy's very moving and humbling life story in a way that is completely unsuitable and totally unnecessary for this remarkable woman.
Come on journalists, you've got the chance to do something worthwhile this time. Use your power to cover Izzy's story with care and integrity (just as she would). If written with belief and transparancy, you will empower survivors to speak out and hopefully take the first steps in their healing journey......by being BELIEVED.
I am proud of the work you have done Izzy and the work I know you will continue to do.
Isn't it strange how the Press becomes so deeply concerned about authenticating sources when it comes to violence against women, and yet they'll believe any old George, Dick or Tony when it comes to violence against the state?
Many people have told me many things over many years - am I to dismiss them all because I wasn't there, because they won't tell me who, when, where, for whatever reason they have the right to give? Is demanding corroboration of every detail of every experience not asking too much, even of your closest friend, never mind a complete stranger?
Have these journos absolutely no perception of the intrusions people already endure, before they even hear about them? They ask too much and they know it. It takes a moral person to stand up and be counted and I'd like to see them try. Just one of them would do.
With the courage and integrity you have displayed so far Izzy, I have no doubt that you will remain an inspiration long after today.
L
x
As Izzy's youngest Daughter, I have witnessed only a small amount of what she has had to indure throughout her life. The affects of her childhood and what has happened in later life have had a huge impact on us all and although I haven't always wanted to listen or talk about it, I have always been supportive of my Mum in my own way. If I'm honest this wasn't something I wanted her to do but only for selfish reasons, I didn't want the general public to see what we have all had to go through and I didn't want my private life to be opened up to the world. Because of that my Mum has chosen to keep our identities private. This is the only reason. My Mum doesn't have any shame, she is not a dishonest person and she would be happy to speak out in public at any given opportunity in order to help people and share her experiences, she has done this for her children and for her family. Surely this would show the media that this is not a money orientated stunt. If she were in this for personal gain, she would not be willing to protect the people she loves. I know it has taken a great deal of courage for her to write this let alone have it published for the world to see, she shouldn't be penalised for wanting to protect her family. Izzy is a wonderful Mother and a dedicated Grandmother. I am proud of what she has achieved and how far she has come, she is a true inspiration. But more importantly, I am proud to call her my Mum and have her in my life.
I have nothing but praise for you Izzy, you have such courage and strength.
One of the reasons for not speaking out about abuse is not being believed. The other is that you will be disliked and rejected by the family, even though it is not your fault, you are the victim.
As most abuse takes place within the family, there is also the fear of breaking down and disrupting the family unit - for once you have spoken out, things will never be the same. It causes everybody within the family to re-assess their relationship with the abuser.
Izzy has had the courage to do this, to speak out. She has not written her book to name and shame the abusers, as some would have liked, but to come to terms with what has happened to her, and to reach out to others who have suffered.
Her story is sad, horrific, but true. How/why would anybody be able to make up anything like this? Those who are trying to discredit her story and cancel interviews because she will not reveal her identity should be ashamed of themselves. Interviews are essential. The more people who know about and read her book, the more people can be given courage and possibly helped by it.
Those who know and love her have stood by and supported her throughout the writing of this book. By keeping her identity hidden she is just trying to protect those that she loves.
Despite everything that has happened to her Izzy is the most warm, caring, friendly person I know. She touches the hearts of everyone she meets.
Izzy, you are much loved.
Thank you for watching over me.XX
Izzy Hammond is first and foremost my Mum, but beyond that she is a wonderful person, she is strong, she is committed and she has a heart bigger than the world itself, these are only a few of her postive traits, I could go on but I don't think there is enough space on this blog page!!!
I Agree with everyone that has posted a comment, for the media to insinuate that Izzy's story may not be true is proposterous, I along with other members of my family have been directly affected by what has happened in her life. It annoys me but is not suprising considering the history the media have of getting it wrong.
Aside from that it is important to forget about these 3rd parties and concentrate on the positives that will come from this book, in terms of helping others and showing others at their darkest hour there is a way, there is a light, there is hope and that if you believe you really can achieve anything in this life.
I give my wholehearted support to Izzy and her book and I hope it really can make a difference to people who have been in the same position.
LOVE YA MUM.
EDDIE THE EAGLE TEDWOOD.
This incredible woman has honoured us with a true, deeply personal & truly horrific account of the abuse of power she has been subjected to at various times of her life. Disbielief by press, media etc shows that 'hegemony of the patriarchal society' wasnt just a 1980's myth- it is still alive and well. That is your shame.
Stick a picture of me in your paper, I would be honoured to walk in this womans shoes.
The length of time i have known her is inversely proportional to the respect I have for her & I respect her unconditionally.
sincerely,
RO
It takes so much courage and sole searching to have to write a book like this, after coming through such a childhood that no one would wish upon their worst enermy. It is NOT done for the glory it is done to try and save one more child from having to go through what Izzy Hammond has. If papers and magazines feel that the story is untrue then SHAME SHAME on you. What will a photo of Izzy achieve? She has asked for her privacy to be respected so she can protect her family and children. It is about time that the social services, the do gooders of this world and the schools did what was best for the child and not take the easy route every time. Today we still see the same mistakes being made at the expence of the innocent person. Will we ever learn? Why should a "SICK" person be allowed to ruin a childs life just for their own pleasures. If you cannot take the child ot of herm then take the harm away from the child. I have known Izzy for more years than I care to say to me I see this incredable woman who has survived all this but remarkably she is so loving and care to all her family and friends. Her resolve to help, support and encourage all those in simular situations to become survivors is second to none. She has so much courage and strength I only wish I had that strength to walk in her shoes. The love everyone has for her ability to become a survivor can be seem in her daily life. Her husband of 20 years has helped to come through this. love yur solesister
This is Tricia who you spoke to in the supermarket (Asda) last week. We had a lovely talk and i have been looking out for your book ever since. It go's on the shelves tomorrow, i've bought my copy and have started reading it already. After our chat I feel as if I have known you for ages. Thank you!
You are a truley a remarkable woman and a very forgiving one at that..what you went through and survived..i can't even begin to imagine..but you have survived all of that and shown forgiveness and courage..the part in the book when you went to visit your birth father..and on leaving you kissed the top of his head..had me in tears..just for the fact that you could do this simple act after all that monster had done to you..thats shows real forgiveness..just in the fact that it helped you to move on and not be a victim any longer..and I hope when your children read the book ..they too will finally understand all that there lovely mother went to at the hands of a very very devient person..and they will understand some of the things that you had to do..
my love goes to you and your family..but mostley to a most remarkable woman...and that is you !!!!
Bee xxxx
I have just finished the very last chapter of the book which i consumed in three days. I sincerely wish to thank Izzy for what has been an incredibly therapeutic and comforting experience for me. The book come to me literally by accident from a relative. I was shocked to read the startling similarities between Izzy's life and my own. Although, thank heavens my own experiences never reached the depths of Izzy's - i suffered none the less at the hands of my father who also was deaf. This book has helped me to come to terms with the horrendous guilt i feel every day for what my children have been through, my failed marriages and the pain that i carry around with me every day. This book could not have came at a better time for me and i feel i was fated to read it. If Izzy wished to help even one survivor, I would like her to know that she has helped me more than she could know. Thank you Izzy for having the bravery to put pen to paper.
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